Parenting Towards
Independence: Setting Rules For Teenagers
Page #1
What
are good rules and rewards for teenagers?
Why do we bother putting rules into place? Limits and guidelines during
adolescence are an important part of getting the budding adult ready to leave
home. During this preparation time, keeping focused on the end result (a
successful adult) is important. When presenting and negotiating rules with your
adolescent, begin by exploring the potential results of successfully following
guidelines.
Here’s what your list might look like:
-
You’ve reached
maturity when…
-
You choose to
be with family and engage politely with them during family time.
-
You manage your
own homework and schooling.
-
You develop
good solid friendships: e.g. consistent, caring and respectful.
-
You balance
your needs versus your wants: e.g. schooling versus electronics.
-
You spend time
every day engaging in housework on your own.
-
You take care
of your own stuff such as doing your own laundry and cleaning up after
yourself.
-
You manage your
own schedule (academic, work, home, social).
-
You take care
of your body by exercising regularly, your nutrition by making good food
choices and your mind by giving yourself relaxing/reflective time.
-
You manage your
own money for entertainment, activities, and clothing by keeping a checkbook
and budget.
-
You work
outside the home to earn and contribute to your own care.
-
You manage your
time and inform your parents in detail and beforehand about your plans and
schedule.
-
You can cook
basic meals.
-
You volunteer
for your community.
Do all of the above and you’ve achieved INDEPENDENCE and maturity!
Clearly all of these skills do not have to be accomplished for an adolescent to
move away from home and succeed, but the majority of parents that I work with
want nothing more than to raise a well-balanced and independent child. In the
meantime, however, parents have to set rules that slowly but surely move the
child toward independence. Rule categories might include: family time, academic
expectations, use of electronics, household responsibilities, personal
responsibilities, financial responsibilities, social limits, mind and body
responsibilities, community responsibilities. Here’s what the rules might look
like for a 13-15 year old.
Also,
See Parenting Toward Independence page #2
Article Source:
http://www.articlesbase.com/teenagers-articles/parenting-towards-independence-setting-rules-for-teenagers-818753.html
The author, Laura Doerflinger, MS, LMHC, is the Executive Director of the
Parent Education Group
and also the editor of the
parenting and family audio books that are available for
download at FamilyAuthority.com.
Copyright 2009 FamilyAuthority.com - Reprints Accepted - Two links must be
active in the bio.
